Neatloaf

Meatloaf has long been hailed a staple of American cuisine that helps to stretch a buck and feed your family for pennies on the dollar as opposed to giving them actual meat. Why should this blue collar classic technique of adding mostly bread crumbs, cracker, or cereal to a pound of greasy low grade beef in order to stuff their kin on a budget be limited to the omnivores? Hey, it’s not.

As you know, not every vegan is a Hollywood actor or rich so-and-so. Some of us live on a real world budget and Vegetarianism/Veganism can not only be accessible to anyone, it can, in fact, be a cheap way to maintain a healthy diet! Just think about how much a pound of no frills carrots costs compared to a pound of beef or turkey. And is the carrot cut with hunks of would be discarded gristle and lard? Is it swimming with calories and colon-clogging inferior proteins? I hear people say all the time that they’re not wealthy enough to go on a diet, and they’re right. Unsatisfying diet shakes and bars that taste like chocolate-flavored cow pies can be really expensive.

Dairy and Meat can actually be the most expensive things on the average grocery list as well as the most detrimental to your health and waistline. Substitutes for natural dairy and meat, while generally much healthier, can be very costly, but check out the dry goods in your grocery store. You’ll find substantial proteins like Gluten, TVP (Textured Vegetable Protein) and not to mention LEGUMES that are way better and more cost efficient than anything that bleeds or slapped with a flashy brand name. Here is a great way to stretch a buck and fill your belly on TVP:

 

2 cloves fresh Garlic

4 oz Onion

4 oz Carrot

4 oz Celery

3 T Soy Sauce

1-2 Roma Tomatoes

½ t Mustard Powder

½ t Paprika

¼ t Black Pepper

¼ – ½ t Sea Salt

4 T Nutritional Yeast

2 T ground Flax mixed with 3-4 T Water

1 c TVP (Textured Vegetable Protein)

¾ c Vegetable Stock

1 cup Bread Crumbs or 1 Sleeve of Saltines finely ground

1 T Earth Balance (or butter substitute of your choice)

Optional: Ketchup

 

For this recipe, I chopped all the vegetables in a food processor. You are welcome to chop these by hand and you will see larger chunks of vegetable matter in your loaf if that is what you like. Just be sure to chop them finely because you need them to cook quickly and not get ahead of the TVP.

Here is my food processor shortcut:

First, finely grind the garlic in the processor,

Add Carrots, pulse for 5 seconds

Add Onions, pulse for 2 seconds,

Add Celery, pulse for 5 seconds.

You should have semi-fine bits of vegetables but still be able to distinguish the different types. You can mash them into a fine pulp if you want, but I like to see the bits of carrot and what-not in my loaf.

Start warming the oven up to 350F

Warm the Vegetable Stock, combine it with the TVP and allow it to sit while you sauté the vegetables in Earth Balance (or butter substitute) with the Salt, Pepper, Paprika, and Mustard. The cooking should be quick and the purpose is to bring the flavor out of the vegetables so the TVP will soak it up and not have separate bland bits floating around in the loaf like insipid barflies waiting for someone to chew them up and spit them out. Heat the pan, melt your Earth Balance, add veggies and cook for no more than 3 minutes on Medium heat. Meanwhile, add your tomatoes to the blender/food processor and practically liquefy them. Add them to the veggies in the pan.

By now, your TVP should have soaked up most of the water, so add it as well as the Flax, Soy Sauce, and Nutritional Yeast to the pan as well. At this point, the contents of the pan should be cool enough that you can stick your hand in there and blend everything by hand. If it’s not, first get your hand out of there, genius, and then either use a spoon to stir or let it cool down.

Mix in the Breadcrumbs or Crackers until you have a mixture that retains its shape. Add them slowly and realize that you may need more or less, depending upon how juicy your veggies (namely, your tomatoes) were and how well the TVP soaked up the stock.

Line an oven safe container with foil and add a small drizzle of cooking oil or Earth Balance to keep the loaf from sticking to the bottom. Place the loaf mix into the pan and shape it, then if you must, add ketchup to the top of your loaf.

Cook this for about 10 minutes or until you’ve achieved the desired dryness. There should be no need to cook out any bacteria as you would with meat or eggs, in fact, you can eat this completely raw if you want. Savage.

To keep that down home feel, serve your loaf with mashed potatoes (made with vegetable stock instead of milk) and Earth Balance. You can also add some greens like asparagus, Brussels sprouts or green beans.

If you choose, you can modify this recipe by adding walnuts, piñones (pine nuts) or spinach to the veggies before sautéing or substituting the garlic for a heaping spoonful of pesto. Go crazy.

Tofu “Eggs”

Tofu “Scrambled Eggs”

1 tsp Nutritional Yeast

1Tbls Ener-G Egg powder

2 Tbls Soy Milk

Garlic Salt or Sea Salt to taste

4oz Soft Tofu

Canola Oil

Mix the yeast, Ener-G Egg powder, soy milk, and salt in a small bowl and whisk thoroughly. Lightly crumble the soft tofu into the bowl and delicately blend everything.

Heat a small pan and add a teaspoon or so of oil to the pan. You’re not really going to cook so much as you are going to heat this mixture through. The starches in the Ener-G Egg will coagulate, but that’s pretty much it. Don’t leave this on the heat longer than 3 minutes, if that. If you overcook it, it will adulterate the flavor of the soy products, starches, and yeast. If you over mix the “eggs,” you’ll end up with a plate that is aesthetically undesirable.

Be forewarned: use a light touch on this one, or you will wind up with something that resembles baby spew in flavor and appearance. I can always tell when a non-vegan has prepared my vegan “eggs,” because they will almost invariably overcook them.

You can mix soyrizo into your scramble, cooked potatoes and vegan cheese (like Daiya cheddar) and make breakfast tacos (see my recipe for Flour Tortillas) or you can accompany this dish with toast and Gimme Lean Breakfast Sausage as I have. You can even make this for brinner, the most important meal of the day, and have pancakes for dessert. Bon Appetite.

Cheeken ‘n Broccoli

Cheeken ‘n Broccoli

8 oz prepared Seitan (wheat gluten)

3c bite-sized Broccoli Florets

¼c Onion (minced)

1T Canola Oil

¾+ ¼ c water

1T Peanut Butter

3T Soy Sauce

2T Sesame Oil

½ inch of Ginger, peeled and finely grated

1T Blackstrap Molasses

1t Garlic Salt

2T Cornstarch

In a wok or large sauce pan over medium heat, add Canola oil, Onions, and Broccoli. Lightly toast for about 1 minute before adding ¼c water and placing a lid over the pan. Watch carefully and remove from heat when broccoli turns a vivid green. Don’t overcook it, we’re not making baby food.

In a separate bowl, thoroughly mix all remaining ingredients except for the Seitan. When the broccoli is nearly done, add this liquid to one side of the pan and allow it to thicken before mixing in the Seitan and broccoli. The ideal way to mix everything neatly is to pick up the wok or pan and flip the ingredients within it with a brisk movement of the wrist, but a wooden spoon will do fine if this technique is beyond your capacity. By the time your finished cooking, there should be some food left in the pan that your dog didn’t get to eat off the floor.

Don’t leave this dish over the heat too long after adding the Seitan. Remove from heat and place a lid over the pan to help heat the Seitan through. This dish is best served over white rice immediately after cooking. See my post “Recipe: Perfect White Rice” for detailed instructions. Or you could blindfold yourself and throw caution to the wind. I’m not the one who’s going to be eating your nasty “let happen what may,” rice.

The sauce is as good or better than what you will get at a restaurant, and furthermore, you’re guaranteed to know what’s in it if you made it yourself from scratch. I used organic ingredients to prepare this at home, and the sauce was so cream-your-panties good. Damn. I made myself hungry.

Enjoy!

seitan, or as i like to call it, “Cheeken”

Cheeken ‘Meat’:

2c Vital Wheat Gluten

½ t Salt

¼ t White Pepper

½ t Garlic Powder

½ t Onion Powder

2c Water

 

Broth:

1 qt Water

¼ c Blackstrap Molasses

¼ c Soy Sauce

¼ t White Pepper

1 t Garlic Salt

½ t Onion Powder

 

Place the ingredients for the broth in a large pot and bring them to a boil.

While the broth is coming to a boil, mix all dry ingredients for Cheeken meat, spread the powder evenly throughout the bowl, and add all the water at once with one hand while mixing with the other. Be sure to remove your jewelry for this!

The mixture will seem spongy and maybe rubbery. Gluten is what makes pizza dough chewy and delicious, giving it that certain bite, and this is a concentrated form of the gluten which makes meaty dough. The more you work the dough, the tougher it will be as the air is pushed out and the gluten develops, so keep this in mind. You want to work it a little so it has that “bite” but not so much that eating it gives you TMJ. If you notice excess water, look for darker streaks in the dough. These are strands of gluten which have not absorbed as much water. You should pick out the larger one and let them soak in the excess water for a couple of minute before mixing them back in. It may be nearly impossible to get them all out, so don’t worry if they’re kind of small. They will plump when you boil them anyway.

Lay your dough flat. It’s kind of fun to play with dough, isn’t it? It would be hard to cut through this dough with a knife, so just use your kitchen scissors. You can make a roll and snip out some ‘cutlets,’ or go with cubed Cheeken. They will grow about 60% when you boil them, so keep that in mind too. Don’t let the cut pieces sit too long or touch because they will lose shape and ‘grow’ together like The Blob. You’ll want to trim quickly and toss them one at a time into the boiling pot.

Let them boil for about 45 minutes to 1 hour. They’ll grow like those spongy dinosaurs you’ve seen kids play with. Awesome.

Now you can place them in a lidded kitchen container and cover them with broth for future use, eat them with barbeque sauce in a sandwich, add them to a stir-fry, or cut them into dinosaur shapes and make them fight each other for your amusement. I don’t care.