Almond Cheese

Holy crap, this cheese is so good! I mean, I still remember how dairy cheese tastes (sometimes the memory haunts me) and I’m not delusional enough to pretend that some of the cheese substitutes I’ve had to stomach were anywhere near it, but holy crap, this cheese is so good! Almond cheese, who would have known, actually melts divinely and has the same taste and texture of mozzarella cheese made from dairy. Oh, except that it’s not destroying another living creature’s quality of life during its production and doesn’t contain hormones, antibiotics, and puss from sores on cows’ udders which inevitably occur when they spend a lifetime having powerful suctioning devices strapped to their pink bits.

Did I mention how delicious it is? I’m not kidding. I had some stuff made from tapioca that was pretty good, and some individually sliced faux cheddar that was…well, it was like government cheese’s strange hippie uncle (the one who never showers or wears deodorant)…but this stuff blows that crap out of the water.

Lisanatti Almond Mozzarella. Look for it in your grocery or health food store, and if they don’t carry it, ASK for it. Your grocer can’t read your mind. Otherwise he’d be out playing high stakes poker instead of restocking your favorite heavy duty tampons, mopping up toddler vomit and contemplating life as a pole dancer while that woman with fifty cats complains about the high price of fruit and counts $60 worth of change from a tube sock to pay for Meow Mix.

In case you’re wondering, I ate a slice of it plain. Yum. Then, I made baked ziti.

(1) I first boiled 1 cup of organic ziti in 6 cups water,

(2) drained it, mixed in 1/2 cup of Newman’s Own Mushroom Marinara,

(3) added 1 c sliced baby bella mushrooms and 1/2 tsp sea salt

(4) spooned it into a small ovensafe dish, grated some of that almond cheese over everything,

(5) covered it in foil and baked at 350F until the cheese melted through and the mushrooms softened (about 8 min)

Slice it, serve it, love it, CHEESE IT!